I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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