There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
