Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
