Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
