worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
