why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
