No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
