Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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