Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
