The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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