i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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