WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
im holly from the hills drunk
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
