I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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