I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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