Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
