Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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