I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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