the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
