im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
as a side note pls kill me
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
