i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
