That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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