Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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