I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
