Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
