You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
