i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
