I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
