i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
