now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
