So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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