just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
