so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
