you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
