so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
