saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
