youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
