FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
