I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
