you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
