I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
