Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
