I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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