pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I think my vagina is haunted
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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