shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
This baby is an asshole
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Come on in and take your pants off
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