your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
