When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
