please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
