Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
