"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
