just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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