wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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